The Devil and Cece Winans
I was almost home the other night and was standing at the crosswalk waiting for my light. Traffic, as always, was pretty busy - at a standstill, actually - and you can always hear an amazingly wide assortment of music drifting from commuters' windows. You could do a whole study on the crazy shit people like to listen to to get a day's work off their minds. I heard some kicky music coming from the farthest-away car waiting at the crosswalk and as I started across the street I realized that I know that song! It was "Better Place" - the last track on Cece Winans' self-titled album from 2001.
[Sidebar: Cece is one of the Christian artists that I've never expunged from my listening library. True, you have to listen to unabashedly fundie lyrics, but the music's solid and she has got the chops. Other CCM artists that will never lose our love are, in no particular order: pre-Beyond-Belief Petra, Mastedon, Charlie Peacock, pre-(See Inside) Out of the Grey, Imperials, Wendy and Mary, 2nd Chapter of Acts, White Heart, King's X (they would probably object to being classified as CCM in the strongest terms and Matt's just going to kill me), pre-Go-bloody-West-Young-Man Michael W. Smith, etc. AND, when I really want to piss Ramon off, I put on David Meece's Odyssey album real loud and rock the fuck out.]
How random is it to be walking across the street in Seattle and hear Cece Winans, right? Since dancing in public is one of the sure signs that yet another Seattle-ite has gone over to the crazies (talking aloud to oneself and screaming at red-light-runners are others), I fought the urge to bop in the crosswalk, but I did lock eyes with the older gentleman in a PT Cruiser who was crankin' my girl. He was getting down - how could you not? The song's about how you're to keep your head up, 'cause god's going to come on down and take us all to that great smoothie spa in the sky - and when he saw me grinning at him he put his thumbs up and man-squealed "Yah!!"
This is when the whole thing gets...well, it's just typical of my interactions with the general and unsuspecting populace. I put up my horns and crowed, "Cece Winans, BABY!!" and walked the last 1/2 block to my apartment building with a bright smile on my face. But wait. Looking back, why did his smile falter just a bit as I turned away to finish crossing the street? Because, Dear Reader, to a man who loves Christian music and is so chuffed that he's headed for Paradise (soon, by the look of it) that he'll shout his joy at innocent passerby, the "rock on!" horns are actually...[ominous silence]...the sign of Satan! [Dun. Dun. Dunnnnnn.] I had completely forgotten.
It's subtle, but sometimes, friends, but the hand-signal for "rock on!" or "hook 'em horns!" is sometimes confused for the secret "I worship the Dark Lord (not Voldemort)" sign. Comme ça:
Rock on!
Hook 'Em Horns!
I worship the Devil
No, no, just kidding. I'm sure our President doesn't worship the great Satan. But think how alarming it must've been for this old guy when I flashed him the sign of Lucifer! He thinks to himself: "OK, she's clearly a Christian because she knows who I'm listening to, but she also indicates that she's a devil-worshiper. Wait. IS Cece a Christian artist? What if she's not? What if Cece worships the devil? What if ...[puts hands to mouth]...what if Cece IS the devil? It figures that the Devil's female...am I listening to The Devil or one of her minions?" Or maybe he thought I'm a UT alumna and he supports Texas A & M. We'll never know. But for him, either way, our cheery interaction didn't have a happy ending.
(sigh) Cerise strikes again. That song will never be the same for him.
[Did anybody notice that I posted this on the 13th? Oooh. Keep your eyes peeled for lightning bolts...]
[Sidebar: Cece is one of the Christian artists that I've never expunged from my listening library. True, you have to listen to unabashedly fundie lyrics, but the music's solid and she has got the chops. Other CCM artists that will never lose our love are, in no particular order: pre-Beyond-Belief Petra, Mastedon, Charlie Peacock, pre-(See Inside) Out of the Grey, Imperials, Wendy and Mary, 2nd Chapter of Acts, White Heart, King's X (they would probably object to being classified as CCM in the strongest terms and Matt's just going to kill me), pre-Go-bloody-West-Young-Man Michael W. Smith, etc. AND, when I really want to piss Ramon off, I put on David Meece's Odyssey album real loud and rock the fuck out.]
How random is it to be walking across the street in Seattle and hear Cece Winans, right? Since dancing in public is one of the sure signs that yet another Seattle-ite has gone over to the crazies (talking aloud to oneself and screaming at red-light-runners are others), I fought the urge to bop in the crosswalk, but I did lock eyes with the older gentleman in a PT Cruiser who was crankin' my girl. He was getting down - how could you not? The song's about how you're to keep your head up, 'cause god's going to come on down and take us all to that great smoothie spa in the sky - and when he saw me grinning at him he put his thumbs up and man-squealed "Yah!!"
This is when the whole thing gets...well, it's just typical of my interactions with the general and unsuspecting populace. I put up my horns and crowed, "Cece Winans, BABY!!" and walked the last 1/2 block to my apartment building with a bright smile on my face. But wait. Looking back, why did his smile falter just a bit as I turned away to finish crossing the street? Because, Dear Reader, to a man who loves Christian music and is so chuffed that he's headed for Paradise (soon, by the look of it) that he'll shout his joy at innocent passerby, the "rock on!" horns are actually...[ominous silence]...the sign of Satan! [Dun. Dun. Dunnnnnn.] I had completely forgotten.
It's subtle, but sometimes, friends, but the hand-signal for "rock on!" or "hook 'em horns!" is sometimes confused for the secret "I worship the Dark Lord (not Voldemort)" sign. Comme ça:
Rock on!
Hook 'Em Horns!
I worship the Devil
No, no, just kidding. I'm sure our President doesn't worship the great Satan. But think how alarming it must've been for this old guy when I flashed him the sign of Lucifer! He thinks to himself: "OK, she's clearly a Christian because she knows who I'm listening to, but she also indicates that she's a devil-worshiper. Wait. IS Cece a Christian artist? What if she's not? What if Cece worships the devil? What if ...[puts hands to mouth]...what if Cece IS the devil? It figures that the Devil's female...am I listening to The Devil or one of her minions?" Or maybe he thought I'm a UT alumna and he supports Texas A & M. We'll never know. But for him, either way, our cheery interaction didn't have a happy ending.
(sigh) Cerise strikes again. That song will never be the same for him.
[Did anybody notice that I posted this on the 13th? Oooh. Keep your eyes peeled for lightning bolts...]
posted by Cerise at 3:55 PM
6 Comments:
bwaahahahahaha! i love it!!! rock on.
CeCe Winans is hot CCM. I made a point to burn all CCM records, like I was taught to do with the devil music I listen to now. I did pause a moment, before throwing White Heart and Michael English into the flames, but only to make sure the disc was in the jewel case. Angels descended, attempting to cry the fire out, but to no avail, as the devil horns held them back.
[falling around laughing]
I can just see you, horns aloft, crying, "Back, SSSS, foul fiends of the heavenly realms! Back, I say!"
And the foul fowl quail (oh, help me, somebody) and wing it back to the Beulah Land.
Shunnnnnnn the believersssss. Shunnn.
\m/
Girl! This post is hilarious! You should write more often!
Thanks, love. Yes I should.
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