Wednesday, October 08, 2008


We're changing. Everything's changing, it seems. This summer kind of knocked us on our asses - mostly in kind of a good way - and the result seems to have been that both Ramon and I made biggish jumps ahead in a short time. It's also kept me from writing much, since I tend to be an oral processor (that just sounds ten kinds of wrong, but I'm leaving it in because I know you know what I mean) and I've been processing, via endless chatter, all this time and that left little energy to write. Pity Ramon. Pity the man.

1. In late spring, and I can't remember why, I started walking home all five work days instead of taking a bus. It's 3/4 mile and boasts varying degrees of uphill action (with some stairs as an added bonus). Combined with my walk down the hill in the morning, I was walking 1 1/2 miles a day five days a week. Without my knowledge or sanction (snort) I lost 25 pounds.

2. In early June I joined the gym across the street from my workplace and started taking yoga classes three times a week. I soaked the mat with sweat every class (literally. I'd press my hands down during a pose and bubbles would come out of the holes in the mat), my poses looked ALL wrong and I hurt all the time, either from exertion during or muscle soreness after. Then I started getting muscles here and there, getting more limber by painfully tiny increments, and enjoying myself. Kind of. The pain and sweat and exhaustion (and clumsiness) remain, so I've started taking Pilates classes the other 2 days a week for strength. In case all the complaining got you on the wrong track, I love doing this. It's like crack for a pudgy old lady like me.

3. In early June, as well, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 disorder, told I'd probably lived with it since Day 1, and medicated accordingly. You can bet your booties I'll write more on this one. This is the big one.

4. Ramon and I spent the last 10 days of June in England, visiting an old beloved friend (FISH!!), meeting her husband, and touring around her beautiful village. We also spent three days walking around London and plan to live there at some point for a goodish period of time. We grieved, grieved, grieved when we came home to Seattle. Grieved for missing Fish and Nick, the country around their home, and London. When I tried to play "England My Lionheart" by Kate Bush I cried all over the kitchen counter.

5. Ramon researched and purchased equipment to record music at home on our MacPro. Now we're sort of hovering around it and trying to find our muse (preferably the really big one with a baseball bat). I've got a huge learning curve with this stuff, but it's all in the name of Creative Output, so I must prevail.

6. Ramon began a painting class early this fall and has also found new inspiration in abstract art, so the flat is alive again with his work and beautifully cluttered with his paint tubes, brushes and he shanghaied my favorite vase for a rinse can. And I donated the last two white linen napkins that we received as wedding gifts (therefore 10 years old and much-stained) as premium paint rags. I hope our home's like this forever.

7. Our ten-year anniversary was in August, and we celebrated it our way: living room. Cats. Good food. Entertainment. Alcohol. Oh, and the England trip, unofficially.

Thus endeth the list, unless I've forgotten something. Add to all this a faint but pervasive miasma of workplace uncertainty - for both of us - and you've got a summer that felt...exquisitely weird. So far though the change has been so, so good, with some hitches along the way. Most days I try to keep inspiration alive and pray - a bit desperately - that I won't go back to the way I was before. I'm not sure I could bear it.

I've missed talking to you.



Anonymous nuttycow said...

And it's lovely to have you back.

Congrats on the 10 year anniversary. Hopefully we'll hear more about your news soon.

10/08/2008 11:10 AM  
Blogger beth♥ said...

Good to see you writing again, love. Bravo to you both for the positives. I share the demon "bipolar" with you. Nasty bugger he is. It always seems to be us artistic ones that turn out to be completely loony. ;o)

10/08/2008 1:29 PM  
Blogger Carrie said...

I love this one. Bravo to you on all your leaps. You've inspired me to get back on the yoga train. Reading about the painting made me want to take a painting class too. Maybe you two being knocked on your asses is what will actually inspire me to get off mine and do something for myself.

10/09/2008 2:55 PM  
Blogger ohchicken said...

i'm glad you're back. now that i'm back at work and have time to read blogs, i hope you write more please.

and i'm totally up for a discussion about bipolar 2. i gots it too.


10/10/2008 7:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good to see another post! Yoga is like a "gateway drug" isn't it? It hooks you and gets you moving in all other areas! Love it!

10/13/2008 6:27 PM  
Blogger Cerise said...

Beth and Chicken, that means a lot, your invitation to talk about it. There's a lot of silliness on the Internet that you have to plow through to get some real information, isn't there?

Mindi, I hadn't thought of that, but I think you're so right. Holy crap.

11/21/2008 10:08 AM  

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